Every night, at 7:30, I sit down in my mom’s glider and watch (here it comes)…Wheel! Of! Fortune! (cue theme music).
I love it, and I must be on it. I have registered three times in the last two months on the Wheel of Fortune website to be considered as a contestant. I am convinced that, should I get the chance to spin the wheel, I would dominate the Wheel of Fortune stage.
In the online form, I have indicated that I’m willing to participate in Best Friends Week, Family Week, and Sweethearts Week.* I have also expressed an interest in Country Music Week. I am not a huge country music fan, but I like Rascall Flatts and Carrie Underwood, so I’ve listed them as my favorite country music stars, should I get the call.
They also ask if you’re a baseball fan, which I’m not. I was tempted to list one of the three baseball players I’ve heard of: my friend Callie’s dad Jerry Narron, Josh Hamilton (friend of Jerry Narron), or A-Rod. I think his real name is Aaron Rodriguez? I could be wrong. Whatever it takes to stand with Pat and Vanna, I am there.
My mom watches Jeopardy at 7, but it’s out of my league. I mean, I’m pretty smart, I’m not going to lie to you, but I can really see myself freezing up on Jeopardy and looking like a fool. I get intimidated by uber-smart people and that is what I think would happen on Jeopardy. Wheel of Fortune, though…I mean, have you seen some of those people that compete on Wheel of Fortune? When I was in college, I worked at Cold Stone Creamery and one of the owners went on Wheel of Fortune. She was a nice girl, but she was no Faith Dwight. If/When I get on Wheel of Fortune, I will dominate. I will also have a talk with Vanna about the kind of dresses that work best on broad shoulders and thin hips.
*If they call me from WOF and ask me to come for Sweethearts Week, and Simon’s not here yet, I am not above pretending my brother-in-law in Greensboro is my husband. Plus, he’s a teacher, and he knows a lot of words.