Okay, that is not true, but my husband has a habit of taking stories I’ve told him and changing the facts a bit to make me sound more awesome than I am.*
This particular story actually goes something more like, “I threw a kickball at a girl’s face.” You know, one of those red, bouncy ones? Don’t worry, it wasn’t recently – I was in fifth grade. Her parents owned the local Chinese restaurant and, without launching into the whole long story, let’s just say it was the culmination of a long year of bullying and torture. The great thing was, I was about 5’7” in fifth grade, so when she retaliated by coming at me with fists flying, she could only reach my shoulder.
We were both dragged to the principal’s office, and I used my writing skills – present even then – to get out of trouble. The principal, Mr. McCallister, had us write our versions of what happened. I remember him laughing as he read mine. I can’t remember exactly what I wrote, but I do specifically recall the words, “…in anger and frustration, I threw the ball into the air…” being a part of it. What I really meant by “into the air” was “right at her face,” but whatev.**
*Another of his favorites is “Faith is a cross-country champion,” when, in fact, I ran cross country two years in high school and came in last at every race but two.
**I do not condone throwing kickballs or any other sort of balls at girls’ faces.