I lost my job and I’m okay.

March 20, 2009

I was worried Monday morning.  Not because of anything work-related; just because I’d scheduled a dentist appointment, and the last check-up I had resulted in a root canal.  Thankfully, this appointment was much more successful.  I got flossed, cleaned, and polished, and the hygienist told me I practice good homecare.  She said I have beautiful teeth.

I left the dentist and headed to work.  Well, first, I went to McDonald’s and bought a sausage McMuffin and a cup of coffee.  The McMuffin was delicious; the coffee was old. (I’ve since emailed the Mickey D’s hq to complain, and am watching the mail for free coffee vouchers.)  I hopped on the interstate and headed to work.

I arrived at the office at about 10:20, and L, my designer, whispered to me as I set my bag down, “JD got laid off this morning.”

“What?!  JD?!”  The N&O’s user support manager and a friend of ours, JD is a commodity here.  I didn’t see that one coming.  We knew layoffs were coming in the next couple of weeks, but I wasn’t expecting them Monday morning.  I wasn’t expecting JD to go.

I saw M crying in her office and my chest tightened.  Not M.  Our creative director, she’s worked here for 18 years.   She’s 58, has  a grown son and a daughter in college.  Her husband died  suddenly three years ago.

I sat down at my computer and began to check my 54 emails.  I opened a document to begin typing skirt!‘s May calendar.  I heard the quick, light footsteps of S, the magazine department director.  I heard her coming into our office, coming toward my cubicle…and then I felt the touch of her hand on my shoulder.  “Faith, can I see you in my office for a moment?”

No.  Way.  Me?

I knew then, before I ever walked up the stairs onto her floor; before I ever stepped into her office and sat in one of her rigid metal and cloth chairs; before J, the VP of our department, ever looked at me with bleary, red, eyes.

It was all very surreal, as J began his speech, a bit choked up, “Faith, this is not personal. It has nothing to do with your performance…”  I nodded and said that I knew.  I can’t remember what else they said, but I remember nodding, and I remember hugging them both, and saying, “Don’t worry about me.”

You see, Sunday night, before all this happened, I got that panicky Sunday evening feeling I always get.  In anticipation of the stress of work, I feel uneasy, and a sense of urgency that things have to change.  I cried at our kitchen table, Simon read some scripture to me while tears ran down my cheeks.  We prayed at the table, then moved to the floor, to our knees, finally lying prostrate on our hardwood floors…silent but for the whispers of “Jesus….please…”

He didn’t speak loudly to me, as I had hoped.  I didn’t hear him say, “Move to Charlotte/Greensboro/Winston-Salem/New York/London.”  But I felt peace come over me.  And Monday morning, it all made sense.

So, when S and J were finished telling me that my job was eliminated, I thanked them for their sensitivity.  I told them not to worry, that Simon and I had been praying, and this was obviously an answer.  I hugged them, went back to my desk, grabbed my things, and drove home to digest the news.  In shock, but also breathing more easily than I have in months…

My last day is April 21…watch this space as I walk through the emotions of this new experience.

26 responses to “I lost my job and I’m okay.”

  1. Sarah says:

    I’m so sorry about your job…I love you : )

  2. Helen says:

    Oh Faithy. I love you xxxx

  3. Benjamin says:

    I was honestly moved reading this… God bless you both x

  4. Annie says:

    Argh. You are the second excellent editor I know who was let go this week. So sad. Selfishly, I’m really looking forward to reading about what you do next, because I feel sure it will be great (and that you’ll write about it really well.) I’m sorry and I hope things turn out great sooner rather than later.

    Best,
    Annie

  5. Bill Wilson says:

    Faith,
    I guess my previous message was too flippant; Please forgive me. There is an Unseen Hand at work. You and Simon are being lifted to the Light.
    In the Lamb,

    Bill, Karen and Emma

    the Grove

  6. I am sorry about the job. Congratulations for the opportunity of newfound freedom…

    I am searching right now, too….

  7. Jennifer says:

    I know that God has blessed you in more ways than you realize and I look forward to seeing where you this opportunity takes you… keep smiling!
    J.

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  12. Jam says:

    At least you have a partner. I’m single and got laid off in February. It sucks being single and having no job.

    • atomicblonde says:

      Jam – you’re right: I am so blessed to have an amazing partner in my husband. I’m sorry that you’re going through this alone, but I want you to know I’ve just said a prayer for you – that God will work through your friends and family to encourage and support you as you seek out what’s next. Here’s hoping – and believing – it’s something better than you ever imagined!

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  21. Rhandzu says:

    lost my job, my finances stretch, prayed. though it was the end, my mother diagnosed cancer and i was discouraged and didnt know what to tell God. still jobless and looking, i know there is a job for me out there but my mother will never be healed only by God’s grace and it would be a miracle. We continue t pray, i have support from church, amazing people. I have stop questioning God and His way, I know He allows storms i ourlives for a reason. Now my faith is stronger than ever, I was down on my knew ever since, asking for peace of mind and strength-God listen, onto my mother, I believing God has given her LAST TEST of her life…Im blessed to have a mother and a good future ahead of me. Jeremiah 29: 11

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