Turns out I’m a Mama’s girl, too.

I’ve never really been a Mama’s girl, that I can remember.

Growing up, I spent countless hours sitting on my Daddy’s lap, riding on the back of my grandpa’s three-wheeler with my Daddy at the wheel, and riding horses with him through woods and cornfields.

In high school, I was his chanteuse daughter, and I sang Ella Fitzgerald numbers at weddings and festivals while he expertly strummed the guitar.  I loved my Mama, too, of course.  But it was different.  She was there when I needed her, but Daddy was the driving force behind most of what I did, and pursued.  I wanted to please him, and quite a lot of what I did and didn’t do revolved around that need in me.

Wedged between my two sisters, they latched onto Mom while Dad and I did our own thing.

I was Daddy’s girl.

Except now, here I am, 3000 miles away from both my parents.

And I love my Daddy.  And I miss him.

But the other day, I was walking through a gardening shop, and I passed by a jug of RoundUp, and I saw my Mama walking down their quarter-mile-long driveway with that RoundUp in her hand, killing the weeds that sprout up between the stones. Her hair was in a ponytail and her sleeves were pushed up so she’d get sun on her arms, and I choked up a little.

And this morning, a girl at work offered me what she called a ‘fig roll.’  When I bit into it, I realized what it was, and I was standing in my Mama’s blue and white kitchen, the tiles cold beneath my bare feet.  I could smell her vanilla candle and feel the breeze from the air-conditioning vents on my face.  I was just in front of her white cupboard, my hand in her box of Fig Newtons.

Never has anything felt so familiar.

Never have I missed my Mama so much.

Author: Faith

Faith Dwight is a photographer and a writer. She is a Southern American girl living just north of London with her British husband, Simon and their two halfling sons.

4 thoughts

  1. Real tears here, too. I miss you every single day! I’d buy you a ticket if I could. I love you very much! Your mama

  2. Haven’t read your stuff in a while, it’s got to be said you do have a great way with words. Even if you’ve never had that special kind of relationship with your Mum that some people seem to have they’re still you’re Mum and there’s nothing like you’re Mum!!

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