I learned something important this week.
There have been times throughout my life when people have hurt me. Purposely or not, my heart has been wounded by the words and actions of people I trusted to love me and to treat me with kindness. In these moments, I’ve often dropped to my knees or laid face-down on my bed, asking God hard questions:
“Why would you let this happen to me?”
“If you’re good, why would you let me hurt so much?”
“If you love me, why won’t you protect me?”
I’ve struggled with these questions time and time again, and even over the last few months, as I’ve seen God’s faithfulness unfold in front of my very eyes, I’ve still wondered why He has, at times, let me be so wounded.
But Sunday, as I raised my hands in the air and worshiped Him, thanking Him for His provision in my life, I sang these words:
You stay the same through the ages
Your love never changes
There may be pain in the night but joy comes in the morning
And when the oceans rage
I don’t have to be afraid
Because I know that You love me
Your love never fails
And I understood something I haven’t understood before.
For the first time, it hit me: He doesn’t let me hurt because He doesn’t love me, or because He doesn’t care. He lets me hurt because the people who hurt me, the ones I love and who really do love me, are imperfect – just like me. Their love is imperfect too, just like mine is.
He allows me to feel their broken attempts at love.
To know their imperfect love so I’ll know that, in comparison, His perfect love never fails.
He is the only one who hasn’t – who will never – let me down.