I mentioned a while ago that we had some photos taken while we were in North Carolina, and yesterday I got the CD of the finished products through the mail slot in our front door. Excited, I popped it into the computer while Adlai pushed himself around the kitchen floor in his walker. When they’d all loaded, I held my breath as I selected “View as Slideshow.”
Can I be honest?
As the images ticked by, one by one, my smile faded.
I saw a girl who’s carrying leftover baby weight, who’s not trying hard enough to not do the squinty-eyed smile that comes too naturally. I turned off the computer and moped around the house for a bit, disappointed.
But later, as I played with Adlai on the floor, throwing myself a quiet little pity party, I heard God say, “Look again.”
So I did.
And in that squinty-eyed smile, I saw a girl who’s really and truly happy to have just about everything she’s ever wished for.
In the curvy hips and too-round face, I saw the sort of battle scars of the year I have spent nurturing my son – first inside my body, and now here, in the flesh.
And finally, I saw what I believe God most wanted me to see: not my own shortcomings, but His abundant blessings in my life. A husband who looks at me like I’m the most beautiful woman in the world, and a son whose smile brings me a depth of joy I never knew was possible.
Photos by Ashley Perry Photography