A Fecal Matter

If you’ve been reading Great Smitten for any amount of time, you know I’ve shared an embarrassing story once or twice.

This one’s a bit different.  It’s a confession.  Something I did that was, well…gross.  But also just a testament to what my life looks like now – what kinds of things play on my mind on a daily basis.

When you become a parent, you suddenly become obsessed with poo.  I’m not proud of it, but it’s true.  I have vivid memories of standing over a few-weeks-old Adlai while he lay on his changing table.  It was the middle of the night, and I was holding his open diaper at a precarious angle so I could check the color of his poo in the pale lamplight.  (Yellow is good, green means they’re not necessarily getting enough nutrients and need to feed longer).  Simon used to do the same thing during those night-time changes, and I also remember lying in bed and calling across the room to him, “How does it look?”

He’d give me an update: “Good, very yellow,” or “Too green.”

He even made up a song about it, which he would sing to Adlai on the changing table:

“Well done, well done, for having yeh-he-he-low poo, poo-poo-poo, poo, poo-poo-poo, poo, poo-poo-poo POO!”

Listen, I told you, we’re not proud.  But this is the way it goes.  You’ll see.

As if that wasn’t bad enough, I think we may have hit a new low this week…

Adlai has been eating more and more solids over the past couple months, and the change in diet is obviously affecting the ease at which his bowels…well…move.

The other day, he’d been working on something for a while, and when it finally…um…surfaced, I felt the need to update Simon.  It was a monumental occasion: not only had he finally gone, but it was his very first grown-up, solid, pellet-esque poop.  I was so proud.

So proud, in fact, that I did something I swore I’d never do:

I took a picture of it.

And then I texted it to Simon.

I’m so ashamed.

*I resisted the temptation to post the picture here.  I may have lost some of my inhibitions, but I like to think I still know where to draw the line.  You can thank me later.

*Update: Since posting this, I’ve spoken to Simon’s boss, ZJ, who told me she’s seen the photo.  The shame continues.

Author: Faith

Faith Dwight is a photographer and a writer. She is a Southern American girl living just north of London with her British husband, Simon and their two halfling sons.

5 thoughts

  1. Have you dreamt about poo yet? Because I have. And it’s even more disturbing in the dreams. Thanks for making me laugh at your life, and mine.

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