The Perfect Storm

July 30, 2012

A few days ago, I referred to my marriage as “happy” and “hard-working.”  It’s important to me that none of you ever think that by a “happy marriage,” I mean one without tears or arguments or hardship.  In reality, I think that expectations for a happy marriage that looks like that are what lead a lot of couples to breakdown.  When a marriage hits rough waters, if you’re not prepared, it’d be easy to think: “This is not a happy marriage.  Loving someone shouldn’t be this hard.”

But in truth?  Loving someone is that hard.

I’ve written before about things Simon and I argue about – about who cleans the bathroom and whose turn it is to get up with Adlai.  And it’s true, we’ve had some knock-down drag-outs over those things.  There are big fights, too, about bigger issues, but you won’t ever find me writing here about those.  It’s not out of dishonesty, or a desire to present this life as something more beautiful than it is.  If anything, our big battles have added to the beauty, because we’ve made it through them, still holding on.

And that’s what a “happy, hard-working” marriage looks like. Like a boat, battered and wind-blown, but with two haggard sailors still inside, resting and peaceful because they’ve navigated the perfect storm of money and in-laws and insecurity and anger, and have found the sun still shining on the other side.

18 responses to “The Perfect Storm”

  1. Jennifer says:

    Faith – you have a great gift. Thank you for sharing it with all of us!

  2. Korey says:

    Great little marital insight. Thanks for sharing!

  3. sherwoodcox says:

    Great post! Thanks…

  4. This is great with relationships as well… Wonderful words!

  5. Marriage is definitely hard work! But it’s a choice to work on it, and it’s rewarding. Thanks for sharing!

  6. saraheoliver says:

    Beautiful. Jut beautiful.

  7. I am with you on this. Marriage is hard work at times. But it is so worth it. I love and respect my husband of 29 years more than ever. I see the same reflected back in his own eyes. It is the best thing for our three kids to see… unconditional love that refuses to pack it in during storms! ~ Wendy

  8. I love this analogy. And I look forward to a long life in my happy, slightly battered little boat.

  9. Sarah says:

    Absolutely! Marriage is so hard and so good.

  10. This is great insight for all relationships. Conflict is inevitable and it’s hard, but it’s completely worth it. Love this!

  11. Rin says:

    So good. I love that my marriage has bumps and bruises. Makes the love of God seem all the more amazing.

  12. lautal says:

    Love the same like friendship is about sacrifice. If neither of two cannot give up with something in regard of peace the love or friendship is broken. Fight in relationship is about selfishness and not about love.

  13. emahadeo says:

    Lovely. Thank you for your honesty and for sharing your commitment and trust with us. Marriage is hard work but don`t you receive the greatest rewards for it? I really like this post, a lot.

  14. Nel says:

    Thanks for sharing.

  15. Carla Vitorino says:

    I love your post! It is very honest and indeed marriage is not so easy. Life is not perfect, neither people are, so how can marriage be perfect, right? But it is really worth and small imperfections can be so charming sometimes…..

  16. Great time for me to see this.. Marriage IS that hard….

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