I hate this stupid country.

August 7, 2012

There are days I hate this stupid country.

Days I hate its five-day forecasts of rain and rain and rain.

Days I hate its houses all stuck together so no one has any privacy and you can’t laugh too loud in the evenings or vacuum your carpets whenevertheheck you want to.

Days I hate its people who don’t say hello in the street, or wave to each other from passing cars on a rural road, or chat to strangers in the grocery store line; its people who close their curtains as soon as the sun sets, who are obsessed with “the property ladder” and “the recession” and “the Conservatives.”

I hate its stupid words for “line” and “diaper” and “bathroom.”  I hate that I have to repeat myself – to translate myself – to be understood.

I hate its rules for roundabouts, and its rules for drivers’ licenses, and its rules for immigration.

I hate that one Krispy Kreme donut costs $2.00.

I hate that there is no trace of maple syrup on its breakfast plates.

I hate its so-called “beaches” covered in painful pebbles, and lapped by freezing cold waves.

Yesterday was one of those days.  I laid on my bed after Adlai went to sleep and cried so hard I shook.  Cried because I hated everything so much.  Cried because this country is stupid.

And then this morning, as is most often the case, I saw last night’s tears for what they really were.

The truth is, the only thing I really hate about this country is that it is 3,000 miles away from my family, my big sister, my best friends.

35 responses to “I hate this stupid country.”

  1. Louisa says:

    If you hate it that much maybe you should move back to the States but you will probably always be torn and there may be days you will end up hating aspects of there. There will always be days like that I guess we have to focus on the positive rather than the negative and be thankful for all that you do have, hope youu’re having a better day than when you wrote this. You’re always welcome here for a little holiday everyone says hello here and we always have maple syrup in our cupboard and waffles!! Loads of love to you all Louisa xx

  2. katievolk says:

    I have those days often, Faith and I’m only in New York City. You hang in there, you’re a tough cookie.

  3. brittany says:

    Bless your heart! I can totally understand your frustration. Some days I feel the same way and I only moved from SC to TX! I can’t imagine having to learn an entirely new culture and country. But I move a lot with my husband for his job so I just try to make the best of the situation. I am not looking forward to the day when he has to take an international assignment. Definitely going to be a culture shock for this southern girl! I pray that your days get better 🙂 Hang in there!

  4. Elizabeth says:

    I’m living in the same country and it doesn’t make being away from friends and family any easier.

    More importantly, how do they have Krispy Kreme in England but they’re NO WHERE in New England?!?!

  5. Saana says:

    I so know how you feel. I have those days too. And then I remember I have friends like you here and I feel better even if I still hate this country. Hugs. Xx

  6. Loni Found Herself says:

    Oh, I can relate. When we lived in England I had more than one day like that. I hated the bank, the Geordie accent I couldn’t understand, the stupid, ridiculous popcorn flavors, the weather, how everyone made fun of Americans (but not to my face), and especially how unfriendly strangers are (like you said – no smiles, no holding doors, no nods, no thank-yous when someone drops something and you pick it up for them…).

    Now that we’re home something strange has happened. I miss the weather, and my friends, the public transportation, garlic chips, hard cider, the feeling of everyday being a chance to see something new.

    It’s such a mixed bag, especially when you throw in missing your family.

    Hugs. I hope it’s a long, long time before you have another day like that.

  7. Ms Niss says:

    UNDERSTOOD. Wholeheartedly.

    What’sapp me whenever you wish, my friend.

    …and the things on earth will grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace

  8. Rod Arters says:

    $2.00 for a Krispy Kreme is outrageous! I’ve spent about 4 months in England and the weather can get depressing. I feel your pain. We all like what we know… Hang in there!

  9. molly says:

    i know you well enough to know that this is your raw self, far from a cry for encouragement; however, that is what i want to do…so here goes:
    i admire you more than you will ever know and am super jealous of your ability to trust in yourself, our God, and your family. you are living a life that i can only dream of living…doing exactly what you want to do and striving each day to be exactly who feel you were called to be. simon is one lucky man to call you wife, adlai is blessed to call you mama, and while time and distance seperate us, i am honored to call you friend.

    i’d happily share a bathroom with you, anytime!

    lots of love from across the pond-

  10. rebeccavold says:

    you’re so real. I love it.

  11. Sara Roberts says:

    If it makes you feel any better, we’ve got a rain forecast for the next 5 days here too, and the humidity will curl a bald man’s head! 😉 I love you Faith darling. I’m sorry you had a rough day. As my Mama always says, “Consider yourself hugged and kissed.”

  12. Wish I could think of something good to console you. It’s hard to be away from what is familiar in the States, but maybe something wonderful will happen soon to chase away the feeling of homesickness. I hope that happens for you 🙂

  13. Hugs to you, sweet Faith! North Carolina loves you very much!

  14. Lisa Charland says:

    I moved to Kansas from Massachusetts 6 years ago with my husband and I can completely relate! I miss my family and friends every day. It sucks. I am constantly complaining about the Kansas wind, Kansas conservatives, etc.! I’m thankful that we’re near my husband’s family, though. They’re awesome. Hang in there!

  15. Brenda Larson says:

    Sending you hugs, Faith. I remember when we left Canada to move to NC, it felt as though I had just walked off a cliff. But building a new life with my little family helped me grieve less for what we left behind. ox.

  16. Nel says:

    Does it help to know that it’s been raining nearly constantly in my part of the South for close to a couple of weeks? I’m sure it doesn’t. Wishing you sunny weather and happy days.

    On a completely different note, I’m impressed that England has Krispy Kreme. And now I want a doughnut.

  17. Amanda Vaughn-Redmon says:

    Faith, I can ALMOST completely understand that feeling. When we were in Philly (only a mere 8 hour drive from family), it felt horrible…and I’ve never felt like something was missing so much. It’s a blessing and a curse to love and want to be with the family you are so close to.
    Hold on, enjoy all the good and interesting things there…and you’ll be “home” again one day soon.
    On a lighter note, thanks for taking away a little bitty part of the regret I have for not moving there for a bit before settling (or well, somewhat settling)!
    Take care, and smile!
    xo,
    Amanda

  18. Shireen says:

    Oh, I know the feeling! My family is all the way on Canada and on rainy London days, I am so sad too! Sending hugs and hopeful sunshine x

  19. Callie says:

    I have those homesick days, too. What helps me is doing something to remember the big picture of why I’m here. I go to this place called the Tayelet. Its a promenade that has a view of the Old City and the Mount of Olives. Jesus left from the Mount of Olives and when He returns, that’s where His feet will touch down…. then it will split in two. Seeing it helps me remember that the sacrifices are bigger than me.

    God is using you! I’ve seen it! And I’m jealous that you have Krispy Kreme… even if so expensive!

  20. I remember days being homesick when I moved to the USA – it wasn’t that I didn’t want to be in my new found home, but there’s always those days when one bad thing brings on the trigger. The positive things soon remind you why you made the choice – it helps ease the pain,

    It’s funny that you mention folks not saying hi in the street – I never thought it strange when I grew up there, but after spending 20 years in Dallas I now really notice this in folks back in Bedford, If you look at a person walking in the street they will look away or down at the path – I think it’s just the culture, and not anything else.

    I feel your pain on the weather – I’m here visiting family at the moment and the rain can drag you down. There have been some bright spells, and in a way it’s been a nice reprieve from the 100 degree days in Dallas. It sounds like it’s been a pretty bad summer for the UK this year.

    One bright spot for my wife and I has been that we discovered that Milton Keynes has a Costco – so when we miss Dallas while on vacation we’ll make a stop over there to pickup a few things to remind us of home.

  21. barbdsykes says:

    Oh sweetie. I feel your pain. Though I still reside in the country I was born in, I miss my beloved Chicago (though I am originally from one of its south suburbs). Familiarity is what I miss, the not having to explain why I do what I do, the acceptance of being different amongst others who are different. I am sure your family miss you as much as you miss them. Stay strong.

  22. Rebekah says:

    I hate the stupid light switches that make it so hard to tell if they’re on or off and the brooms and vacuums that don’t work the “right” way. I hate that I don’t get excited about fall because there has been no summer to make me long for cooler weather. I hate that I have to wait hours each day before I know my loved ones will be awake too.
    “There’s no joy like the joy of reunion, because there is no sorrow like the sorrow of separation”

  23. Happy Wednesday, Faith!
    I am sympathetic to your homesickness and hope that you find comfort in family, friends and your community of readers stretched around the globe. The news from home is good. We’re cheering for our Olympians via tape delayed coverage. We know the outcomes hours in advance, but still enjoy the ecstasy and agony of competition. What’s looking to be a contentious Presidential campaign is taking shape. My ten-year old daughter has started repeating the phrase “Hi. I’m Barack Obama.” In times when I miss home and loved ones, I take the Rodgers and Hammerstein/Julie Andrews approach. Remembering favorite things and places that I love helps with not feeling so bad. Silly, but cheerful.

  24. AlisaG says:

    schedule (or shedule, i guess 😉 ) a week in SW Colorado – cheap donuts, all the Aunt Jemima you can guzzle, 320 days of sunshine each year and, frosting on the cake, our insular little town just voted overwhelmingly to squash a plan for a roundabout because it was obviously way too foreign and scary. 🙂

  25. Rachel H says:

    As a Brit who has lived in France (another country whose culture you’d expect to be similar, but isn’t), I totally understand those days. Only there it was the continual strikes and the insistence you speak their language perfectly before you be understood…!

    However, “Days I hate its people who don’t say hello in the street, or wave to each other from passing cars on a rural road, or chat to strangers in the grocery store line”… makes me wonder whether this is partially due to living in the south? Up here in Yorkshire people are far friendlier; it has been remarked on by many of my ‘southern’ friends. We’re a funny nation; ‘The Englishman’s home is his castle’ just about sums up our attitude to other people I guess.

    How wonderful it is that the world is such a diverse place, and that we can see the Creator’s fingerprints in every people group and nation, though 🙂

  26. I got mad at Bangkok when I lived there, and now at Austin, TX, yet really they are both lovely places I adore. I really feel sad cuz I don’t have my best NC friends and family to support me on this new journey of motherhood I’m about to embrace. I feel you Faith!

  27. Hannah King says:

    Faith, as an English lass I feel I need to apologise on behalf of our country for many of those things you find difficult. I’ve lived in England my whole life and still find the weather depressing in the Summer. I’m just about to come home from a 2 week road trip in California and Utah and I cannot tell you how much I have loved the reliable sunshine!!! I have been amazed at how friendly people are here – that even in the supermarket I get asked ‘howw are you?’ by colleagues working in the aisles – it really highlights how grumpy English people must seem to Americans, and I wish England was more friendly!
    England needs more people like you who know what a friendly culture looks like – change comes when people see how much better things can be if you make changes in small but powerful ways : )
    If you’re looking for sandy beaches, the South West is brilliant – Devon and Cornwall have some stunning beaches.

  28. Carla says:

    Hi Faith!!! Don’t worry we all have this feeling when we are faraway from home, specially when we had a bad day….. The most important is that you are with the most important people in your life: your husband and your son. And one day, if you leave UK, you will realize how amazing it was to be there. I already moved many times and each place has something special that I miss. When I remember every place, the good memories and nice people that I met are the only one who came to my mind….. Good Luck Faith!!!! We are also here for you. You don’t know how much I can understand you! By the way, I LOVE YOUR POST!

  29. greycoopers says:

    I think it’s been said, but in case it hasn’t been said clearly here it is again – “Sorry, but you’re doomed to a life time of being in between”. The only way anyone can avoid suffering a similar fate is NEVER to live anywhere other than where you were born. You may not consider yourself an immigrant, but by virtue of the fact that you have moved continents, you’ll always suffer the fate of many immigrants – having days when you yearn to be somewhere else. Worse, when you finally come “home” people will say that you sound strangely English, you’ll miss the quirky self-deprecating sense of humour, you might even miss the dimunitive “loo” vs the pretentious “restroom”. Sorry for being the bearer of bad news, but I speak from painful personal experience.

    On the positive side of the equation…ah, I needn’t tell you. You know what they are. Bless you for writing a “real” blog.

  30. That’s what scares me most about following my dream and moving to Japan. My family means so much to me, it terrifies me to leave them. Terrifies me to not be able to see them and talk to them whenever I want. I admire you for following your dreams and for loving your family.

  31. minum says:

    Russia is a good place for you :3

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