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Answering the call of the quiet buffalo

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It was never my intention to not write for two weeks, but these last few weeks of pregnancy have done something strange to me: they have turned me into an introvert.

A friend of mine in her final stages of pregnancy wrote a few months ago about this same phenomenon, this intense desire to be around close friends, coupled with a strong realization that she needed time alone.  She likened herself to a quiet buffalo.

At the time, I had just emerged from my glowy second trimester.  I was full of energy and my hair looked great and I felt like a fertility goddess.

Now?  Not so much.

I have heard the call of the quiet buffalo, and I am answering.

It takes all I have in me to text a friend back at the moment, much less write three blog posts a week.  I have big plans for every naptime and bedtime, but when it comes down to it, all I can do is climb into bed and go to sleep, or curl up on the couch with a big glass of ice (Sweet Jesus, I have never loved ice so much as I do now) and an episode or two of Parenthood. 

I want to be alone.  I’m not sad or depressed, and I don’t hate everyone (although if one more person asks me if I’m sure I’m only having one baby, I might lose it).  I just feel a deep, primal urge to be by myself, to rest, to be quiet and still and solitary.  That same friend said her sister pointed out that many animals do this – that they go off by themselves to give birth.

So I’m going to try and do better, but I can’t make any guarantees for the next couple of weeks.  I had Adlai at 38.5 weeks, and as of yesterday, I’m 38 weeks pregnant.  I don’t plan to have this baby this weekend, but who knows?  Until he comes, I’ll do my best.  I’ll write when I feel like I can, but I’ll mostly be napping, and turning my room from a campsite into a baby-friendly haven, and just staring at my husband and my firstborn son.

And when this new one comes, well, I don’t know what life will look like then.  But I feel confident this buffalo will, at some point, make way for the extrovert to return.

4 Responses to “Answering the call of the quiet buffalo”

  1. Ashley

    I really love this. As a permanent introvert, I can relate so easily to those feelings! And I can only imagine how strange I would feel if I became an extrovert for a couple weeks. (The image that comes to mind is a cartoon me with disproportionate eyes and wild hair) Best wishes to you for however long you have til Baby comes! Can’t wait to “meet” him!

    Reply
  2. ~~~S Wave~~~

    My sister just entered her third trimester. First and foremost be what nature is leading you to be right now!! You don’t want to anger your inner buffalo. 🙂 I’m sure that your wordpress family will understand your absence. ❤

    Reply

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