Confessions of a Green-eyed Monster

April 27, 2010

I wish I could just appreciate beautiful things, instead of always wishing I’d been the one to create them.

A song, a photograph, a work of fiction, a hand-sewn dress.

I see it and analyze it and try to decipher how I could make it better, make it mine.

And so I’m always frustrated, never happy. ¬†Because there will always be someone who is better than me at something, and until I can make my peace with that, I’m just a frustrated girl who is too jealous to be content.

2 responses to “Confessions of a Green-eyed Monster”

  1. Christina says:

    Everyone has that about certain things, maybe things we’ve really wanted to be good at or that we think we are good at. I’m that way with paintings since taking art classes. Trying my hand at painting showed me just how completely unoriginal I am, even if I can get the technique. So depressing.

  2. Doug Hughes says:

    “Because there will always be someone who is better than me at something.”

    Haha…know what you mean Faith. It’s easy to feel that way.

    Seriously, but I’ve noticed that kind of thinking builds walls. It sounds like you realize the same thing.

    I’ve been working hard on staying in control of my negative thoughts and things like jealousy. The problems are still there but much better.

    I’ve found (as weird and un-manlike as I feel like this sounds) meditation and positive affirmations in the mornings really help.

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