Yesterday was the seventh anniversary of the day I sat down beside Simon on a wooden pew at the back of a church in Northern England. The very first time I ever laid eyes on him and his black Adidas Sambas.
In honor of that day, I’m giving you a refresher course in How to Rope an Englishman.
That is, here are the first five installments. Read ’em and weep. And then get ready for the long awaited (and, admittedly, long overdue) Part Six.