The Peace that passes all understanding remains: I know that being laid off on Monday was God’s answer to my pleas for direction. When people say, “Oh Faith, I’m so sorry,” I feel a bit guilty. I thank them, but I tell them I’m fine. I wonder if they think I’m in denial.
A strange emotion hit me Wednesday. Disappointment. I suppose I should have expected it. I have worked so hard to make skirt! great. I worked to improve my writing, and learned to take photos when my photographer was moved to another department. My boss, B, kept saying, “Faith, these photos are looking amazing. I’m so proud of you.” I planned events, working with local restaurants and our advertisers to come up with drink specials, themes, giveaways; working with my designer to create fun, attention-grabbing collateral. I blogged faithfully on raleigh.skirt.com, and was recognized at January’s skirt! summit as the second most popular blogging editor in the nation – second only to Atlanta, whose circulation exceeds ours by 70,000.
What hit Thursday was a feeling that I’d worked so hard, stretched myself to the limit, for nothing. I felt deflated. But, after talking to K, my lovely friend and skirt! sales rep, I realized that it hasn’t been for nothing. I have grown and learned things I never would have learned otherwise. My confidence has grown by leaps and bounds.
I’m thinking back to a time, a few weeks ago, when I left a meeting with the marketing director of a tapas lounge where we were planning our monthly skirt! After Work event. It was a new venue for us, and we were meeting to discuss the logistics, including what we expected from the restaurant. I remember dialing K’s number as soon as I walked out of that meeting, desperate to share my excitement. “I feel amazing,” I said. “I just realized how much I’ve grown. A year ago, I was timid in these situations. Today, I spoke with resolve, with confidence.”
My hard work hasn’t been for nothing. The truth is, it’s been for something bigger than the success of a magazine. I can’t wait to see what that is.