It seems fitting that you’re turning two today, on Thanksgiving Day. I’ve only ever been as thankful as I am for you today for one other thing, and that is your Daddy.
On the day you were born two years ago, you were the answer to so many of my prayers: prayers for a child, prayers for a boy named Adlai, whose name means “my witness.” I prayed you would witness God’s faithfulness from the moment you were born, and you did – we did – when you spent two days in the neo-natal unit and recovered quickly, miraculously.
Since that day, God has answered so many more of my prayers through you: prayers that He’d teach me more about His amazing love, His amazing grace. Prayers that He would use you to reconcile broken relationships, to heal broken hearts. Prayers that you would be kind, strong, patient.
All answered. All come to fruition.
Your middle name, John, means “God’s gracious gift,” and that’s what you are, sweet boy. A gift to me – one that personifies the word “gracious”, because I have done nothing in my life to deserve you. You bless me every single day.
You wear me out sometimes, you silly boy. Some mornings, you collapse on the floor and flail about, arms and legs kicking, desperate not to put your coat on, to put your shoes on, to go where I need you to go. You sleep solidly for weeks at a time and then, one day, decide you’d like to wake up at 2am and stay awake till 4, just for the heck of it. Then you wake again at 6:30, ready for the day.
I am tired a lot. I have no idea how to discipline you now that you’ve got a will of your own and a personality that is different from mine. I would love to sit and drink a cup of coffee and read a book for an hour. I would love to walk to town by myself and look at clothes in TK Maxx without you wriggling out of your pushchair, begging to go look at tractors. I would love to sleep till 9am.
I never really understood before when I heard parents say, “It’s all worth it.” I couldn’t imagine anything being worth never sleeping again.
But I’m one of those parents now.
It really is all worth it. You are worth it.
No single thing has brought me greater joy than getting to know you over the past two years. I am truly honoured, in the deepest sense of the word, to be your mother. To spend my days with you. To know you.
And I can’t wait to know you for the rest of my life.
With all my love,